The days turn into weeks and weeks into years and now I find my self celebrating my 3rd year of marriage. I remember the excitement of finally finding my eternal companion. I had ached for my partner for so long. With him by my side, I could really be better.
I watched women like Sister Brown. I took notes on how she left love notes on her kids mirrors and how she posted scriptures in random places we couldn’t avoid. I was one of the kids she dragged out of bed @ 5:00 in morning for family prayer. It was obvious that I could do it. I could be like her someday.
I have this image of a wife and a mother I have always planned on being. Someday when I’m 25, married in the temple, with 2 kids and a little home… I would be there. I will be following Sister Browns example and have that immense capability to love and direct my family.
I went home to Vegas and I sat at that familiar kitchen table, I listened to the sounds of my past. It made me reevaluate my success in my plan. It hit me hard like a smack in the face. I’m not there. I’m 25 in September, and I’m not there.
Have we been guilty of declaring, “I’ve been thinking about making some course corrections in my life. I plan to take the first step—tomorrow”? With such thinking, tomorrow is forever. Such tomorrows rarely come unless we do something about them today.
So I made a plan. A list of things I must do to get there. The hardest is to read my scriptures every night. I speak to God all the time in my thoughts but do I ever give him the opportunity to talk back to me?
How do I become what I want to become? Service… I need to give what I can. So I made a list of things that would be service to my family. Make dinner for my husband, keep the house clean, do the Laundry. All basics, being a wife 101. Listen to spiritual music, go to church for all three hours, do my calling, visit teach.
It’s hard. I’m going on week two. But I feel better. I don’t think I understand a thing more about the gospel. But I find hope. I’m doing all that I physically can to make my life the way I planed. I know God will help me figure it out.
August 25, 2008
Do Something Today
Posted by Kari Bonadio at 4:30 PM
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4 comments:
Maybe "there" changes...or maybe you are "there," everything just hasn't caught up with you yet, there's nothing wrong with that. Who says you have to be like this other person. You don't know what kind of a mom you're going to be until you are one. Don't try to be like someone else, because you think they did a good job, just be whatever kind of mom your children need you to be.
That was a great post Kari and you have become such an amazing writer! Even just writing about these simple things it almost sounds like poetry! I love you girl and you are so inspiring! You are going to be a wonderful mom- just wait! I miss you!
I love you Kari. Call me anytime for anything. I miss you already any you were just here. You are such an amazing friend and an amazing person. Aside from the two kid part, you are there. The kids will come and some day you will look back and say, what was I worrying about, Life is good. Everything always falls into place.
Ok,I am still not "there", and I have had lots of practice! I struggle with some of the same things you do, and probably even more. I, too, am grateful I married the right man in the right place and we have set goals to become an eternal family. Hey, you are really ahead of me 'cause I didn't even get married until I was almost 25!!! The three kids did come pretty fast for us, but I was not ready (not sure anyone is ready for it) Keep doing what you're doing. None of us are perfect, we just head in the right direction and keep going with love from others. Service helps keep me on the right track. I guess it is because, if we want to become more like our Savior, we have to serve others like he did and it seems to open up ways to gain more spiritual strength. Thank you for the nice thoughts...I have been blessed to have the gospel and wonderful people to support me and my family (including you). It was great to see you and talk all night like the good ole days! Love you forever,
Sister Brown
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